Ballad of the Presidents: Washington

For a long time - think Homer to Longfellow - history was often conveyed in poetry, which had the virtues of succinctness and memorability. These virtues are worth preserving, or reviving. I started down this path by posting historical haikus on Twitter years ago. A selection was published as Haiku History (University of Texas Press). Subsequent efforts included historical limericks and a series on the presidents, which forms the basis for the version presented below and in following installments.



Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Of every president, distant to near
From the eighteenth century to the twenty-first
The best of the best and the worst of the worst.

The first was Washington, mighty and tall
Wealthy, respected, acknowledged by all
As him for whom the office was written
In thanks for defeating the army of Britain.

Standoffish, austere, no popular touch
Yet it didn’t hurt him politically much.
Americans wanted a man apart
Especially at the government’s start.

Presiding itself he found quite a chore
Farming at home was what he liked more.
And so he was pleased to hear of excitement
When whiskey became a cause of incitement.

The rebels raised arms to resist tax enforcement
And looked to the people for broader endorsement.
Washington strapped on his sword of command
And mounted his horse for advance over land.

The rebels, amazed the old man could still ride
Scattered and ran through the countryside.
Washington resumed his duties pedestrian
But warmly remembered his moment equestrian.

Toward politics he felt a persistent distaste
Bickering parties he deemed a great waste
Of time in the service of naked ambition
Leading to nothing but civic perdition.

At length he - he himself! - was accused
Of the public trust having abused
By overspending allotted accounts
And costing the people alarming amounts.

Enough! he said. I’ve had more than my fill.
To suffer such slander is the bitterest pill
A patriot ever was asked to swallow.
In this filthy mire no more will I wallow.

But before I leave I’ve got something to say:
Don’t let parties steal your virtue away.
In foreign troubles don’t interfere.
And with that address - I’m outta here!