Ballad of the Presidents: Madison

Madison entered to Jefferson’s mess
His nerve and composure were put to the test
When Britain’s impressmen kept kidnapping seamen
To serve in her navy no longer as free men.

Finally to war was James Madison driven,
Britain's predations could not be forgiven.
Fighting began with much boasting and bluster
We’ll batter the Brits, said recruits at the muster.

But fighting went badly right out of the start.
Early campaigning at once fell apart.
Britain proved tougher than most had foretold,
With Indian allies resentful and bold.

Most galling of all as emotions hit bottom
Was a raid that occurred in the conflict’s third autumn.
Redcoat marauders put Yankees to flight,
Invaded the capital, set it alight.

A single bright spot in this circus of folly
Was the pluck of Mizz Madison, valorous Dolley.
While much of the city was whining and fainting 
She made her escape with the Washington painting.

The smoke of the fire and the gloom of defeat
Made Madison prudently beat a retreat. 
To Europe he sent his best envoys to end
A war he now wanted to never have been.

The Yanks and the Brits deftly jostled and jawed,
Finally decided to call it a draw.
Status quo ante was what they conceived
For the treaty they toasted on Christmas's eve.

But news traveled slowly on wintery seas
And Madison's New Year was filled with unease.
Tales of a cleverish British offensive,
At distant New Orleans made Jemmy all pensive.

For holding the city the chances seemed slim
America’s future grew fearfully dim
The one hope that stood against Albion’s trickery
Was General Jackson, undaunted Old Hickory.

And Jackson, determined, contrived to deliver
A breathtaking win to preserve the great river.
Madison, joyous, was also ambivalent
On hearing loud shouts of “Brave Andy for president!”