Ballad of the Presidents: Johnson to McKinley
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Tennessee Johnson’s disquieted soul Fought to escape the crepuscular hole Which captured his spirit and made it to sink Not least from conspicuous weakness for drink His foes in the Congress contrived to impeach him The lesson they finally managed to teach him And thereby transmit to posterity: Removal no more than a rarity A president's not a dictator They all learn this sooner or later Grant scattered the Klan and sent Kluxers a'flying But Southern resistance was fierce and undying His Indian policy premised on peace Grant struggled to make the long fighting to cease Then gold was unearthed in Lakota Black Hills And fighting redoubled, per contra Grant's will The social engagements of Rutherford Hayes Weren't near as amusing as earlier days' Guests who attended the White House to dine Returned thence complaining of absence of wine Ohioan Garfield was deft ambidextrous His classical languages counted as extras 'Twas tragic and sad that a bullet did drill him Embarrassing more that his doctors did kill him “Chet Arthur, Chet Arthur, political hack!” His skeptics did taunt, until taken aback As Arthur showed pluck in deciding to toil To sharply delimit the system of spoils When rumor made Cleveland, the upstanding Grover An unmarried father, his campaign seemed over Yet GOP jeers of “Wherever’s my pa?” Were answered by Dems: “At Washington, ha!” The grandson of famous old Tippecanoe Wasn't ahead when the vote count was through Ben Harrison, though, yet relied on the knowledge He'd won where it counted: Electoral college McKinley's persistently nettlesome question The one that unsettled his sketchy digestion Was whether or not to commence war against Spain He answered "Oh yes" after losing the Maine After the war he then had to decide Whether tradition to set to one side His country had never intended an empire That hoary reluctance he now let expire Another assassin, another dead chief McKinley's supporters were hurled into grief The question for all: Is America ready For a much different prexy, the turbulent Teddy?
Brilliant!